Leadership Lessons From My Mother-In-Law's 80th Birthday
By Rich Anderson, executive coach with HTG Peer Groups
Have you ever seen an old lady stand on her head long after she should not? My mother-in-law, Sharing Sharon or Mother Bear as I sometimes call her, is one remarkable woman. She endeared herself to her family by snapping close up photos of aspiring young sons-in-law, hosting elaborate tea parties for her grandchildren, and singing “Come Josephine in Your Flying Machine and its up she goes, up she goes,” while she and her little loved ones went soaring in the porch swing. After 5 kids, 14 grandkids, and 13 great-grandkids, she decided to turn 80 which triggered an opportunity for a rather memorable birthday party. I want to share a few leadership lessons I saw being lived out at that event.
2 Out Of 40 … Few Lead Many Follow. Including in-laws there are 40 of us. Two out of those 40 family members assumed a leadership planning role. The others willingly followed. These two leaders cast the vision, made plans, organized activities and delegated tasks. Their efforts resulted in a three-day, fun-filled family fest at the lovely tree-themed Arbor Day Farm in Nebraska City. Betcha’ haven’t been there! Leadership — it just takes a few (or one) intentional leader willing to delegate to make great things happen.
80, 79, 78, 77 … Clear Central Focus. For 80 days before the party, Sharon received a daily card or phone call from a family member reminding her of the days remaining before her big day. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that something significant was forthcoming. The family members were engaged in carrying out their assigned tasks. The family was joyfully united in the efforts around that event. Leadership — creating a clear central focus around which a team executes.
A Non-Edible Birthday Cake?! ... Empathic Living. Since Mother Bear is a diabetic, traditional birthday cakes are not preferred. Those with creative gifts built her a large cake out of gifts. Empathic listening and living is being willing to step into another’s shoes and see life from their perspective. It is taking the time to reflect on and act out of another’s frame of reference. Because someone was willing to live empathically, a unique cake was made that could be admired and enjoyed by the birthday girl. Leadership — understanding someone’s frame of reference, perspective or world view and being willing to meet their needs, not merely your own preferences.
Let Me Carry The Great Pumpkin … Personal Sacrifice. Young children scurried through the pumpkin patch picking out their favorite gourds and pumpkins. Their mother picked out an oversized pumpkin. I saw a grandfather take said pumpkin, struggle with the weight, and carry it a mile or so back to the car. Leadership — personal sacrifice borne out of love.
Outlaws Or In-laws…Courage To Reach Out And Connect. With the in-laws present, there was a wide variety of different personalities, experience and interests which can make effective communication difficult. I saw one of them, who has struggled on occasion with building a meaningful relationship with another, step out and try to communicate. Leadership — stepping out of your comfort zone, reaching out to connect, even though others may not reach back.
Tricksters Looking For Treats … Build Your Brand. Eight great-grandkids were dressed up in Halloween attire. With no neighborhood, they tricked and treated their way to each family hotel room. At each room was a family member ready to hand out a memorable food item which had been historically prepared or provided for years by their great-grandmother: black-bottom cupcakes, home-made dinner rolls (one with a lucky nut hidden inside), pickled okra, string cheese, stuffed celery sticks, Rice Krispy scotcharoos …Triggered by each new treat, Sharon, her children and grandchildren would share stories and memories with the youngest generation of great-grandchildren. This new generation knew they were a part of something bigger than themselves. Multigenerational family traditions were helping define them and their values. Leadership — build a brand and core values, pass them on to the next generation of leaders. Not much else matters.
Rich Anderson is an executive coach with HTG Peer Groups where he is most energized by helping people around their priorities. He also presents leadership workshops and seminars including team personality and judgment assessments and training. Prior to his affiliation with HTG, Rich was a private practice attorney where his practice included advising small business owners from startup through succession, estate planning, and conflict resolution. Rich also served four terms in the Iowa Legislature. You can reach him at randerson@htgpeerpgroups.com.
This article originally appeared at http://htgpeergroups.com/blog/entry/leadership-lessons-80th-birthday.html.