Ask Coach: How Do I Develop My Staff To Believe In Themselves?
By Rich Anderson, executive coach with HTG Peer Groups
Q: How do I develop my staff to believe in themselves?
Coach: I am going to answer this question with some lessons I learned from my father and a swamped canoe. Before I tell my story, I want to remind you of the challenge you face.
The Challenge: Remember, You Only See The Tip Of The Iceberg
Every school teacher knows that every child has a home life that has a huge impact on learning, behavior, and self-esteem. When engaging with a challenging child, it could be said that the teacher only sees the tip of the iceberg. The mass of an iceberg is unseen, hidden below the surface. The unseen, hidden mass in a child’s life, which has a huge impact on the child, is the child’s home life.
So it is with you and your employees. Just as a school teacher must deal with the unseen reality of a pupil’s home life, you must deal with the unseen reality of the prior life of your employees. Their teachability, their behavior, and their self-esteem all flow out of the life experiences they have had before they came to you.
Your challenge is to be the good employer, the good teacher, and the good mentor they may never have had.
The Solution: Successful Completion Of A Responsible Task
My father was a strong swimmer and avid canoeist. My mother was neither and was rather afraid of water. As a boy, I was somewhere in between. On one particular afternoon, my father made me intentionally swamp a canoe in water well over my head. Why? In the event it ever happened to me, I would have prior firsthand experience and the self-confidence to handle the situation. And it did. And I did. Thanks, Dad.
I believe (and evidence supports this) the single best way to build self-belief, self-esteem, or self-confidence is to successfully complete a responsible task or project. Then complete another one. Then again. Then again. Then again. You get the point.
To build self-belief among your team you must set up opportunities for their successful accomplishment of responsible tasks. As you do this, you should also do these things:
- Communication. Before the swamping of the canoe, my father verbally explained what we were going to do and expressed his belief that I could handle it. During the swamping, dogpaddling nearby, was my father offering words of encouragement and being my cheerleader. I drew strength from his view of me and what I could accomplish. Communicate your expectation that your employees can succeed. Communicate your belief in them. Be their cheerleader. However, the communication must be authentic (you must genuinely feel it) and credible (believable). False flattery intended to pump up someone’s self-esteem is inadequate. Authentic and credible communication supplements the underlying assignment: successful completion of a responsible task.
- Manage Their Stress. My father was a very strong swimmer. He knew I was not as strong. Even with a life preserver on, he knew I would have some stress managing the canoe. He stayed near …watching me … monitoring my reactions and responses.
Some stress creates energy to succeed. Too much stress shuts down clear thinking and success. Monitor the stress which your employee is working with or under. Make sure they are not slipping off the edge into dysfunction.
Successful completion of a responsible task. Communication that is encouraging, authentic and credible. Stress monitoring and management. It won’t be long until your employees show signs of increased self-belief and self-confidence. Now, go plan the opportunity.
Rich Anderson is an executive coach with HTG Peer Groups where he is most energized by helping people around their priorities. He also presents leadership workshops and seminars including team personality and judgment assessments and training. Prior to his affiliation with HTG, Rich was a private practice attorney where his practice included advising small business owners from startup through succession, estate planning, and conflict resolution. Rich also served four terms in the Iowa Legislature. You can reach him at randerson@htgpeerpgroups.com.